Love~Faith~Hope

Around this time last year, I was at the Father Heart 'A' school, and it was only a week to learn about God's heart as a father. I expected me to be changed and healed from all the wounded of my past, so that I don't have any trouble to love and accept others, but what I experienced there was completely contrast from my expectation. I experienced God's heart for me and learned how much he loves me. I found a huge fear in the core of me, the fear of death, and there is no one will fight to protect me because I was ruined since I was in the womb of my mom, but God revealed himself to me that he was there to protect and comfort me. I can prove that he is right because I am still alive until today. I am so afraid to be in some place that I can't help myself if there is an emergency, I am afraid to fly, I am afraid to be in the ocean and surround with water. This is what God revealed to me, and it helped me to deal with it. I need to understand who God is for me, so

This is the year 2016, my life has been far from journaling in English almost 2 years. There were so much going on in the year 2015 where I had seen God's goodness within my own life, my family, and my ministry. I have came to the place of surrender to who God is, and I don't want to be the same person as before. God is walking with me through each day, good time and bad time, and I am glad to learn how to trust Him more and more. Since last year until now I discover that I have held many fears in my life, and it stopped me from being brave and being initiative. God knew at this point is a good timing to deal with me about it, and I want to be changed by him. I discovered that I have fear of man and fear of death, and my goal of this year I want to ask God to remove those fears and replace it with his perfect love. I don't want to be stuck in the same spot as last year, and I expect God to make me new heart. Let's see what happen in next 3-4 months.