Around this time last year, I was at the Father Heart 'A' school, and it was only a week to learn about God's heart as a father. I expected me to be changed and healed from all the wounded of my past, so that I don't have any trouble to love and accept others, but what I experienced there was completely contrast from my expectation. I experienced God's heart for me and learned how much he loves me. I found a huge fear in the core of me, the fear of death, and there is no one will fight to protect me because I was ruined since I was in the womb of my mom, but God revealed himself to me that he was there to protect and comfort me. I can prove that he is right because I am still alive until today. I am so afraid to be in some place that I can't help myself if there is an emergency, I am afraid to fly, I am afraid to be in the ocean and surround with water. This is what God revealed to me, and it helped me to deal with it. I need to understand who God is for me, so that I can get rid of this fear. Although I realized what my fear is, I am struggling to believe and rest in God's arms. Until last month where I was the interpreter for a speaker from Montana Base, Dan Lake, I realized I need to believe in who God is. I saw my problem, and I knew how I am struggling, but I need to look at God instead of keep gazing on the problems. After that even I have to fly on the airplane and was in the scary moment, but I felt God's peace is over me. God is at work to take care of me, and he knew the best that I still need to be alive for his plan. This kind of thought helps me to claim down and seeing God is working on it. After learning about God's character, it was time for me to learn how to take the sonship. God used my own family to teach me how it is different to truly understand my sonship and walk out with it. There was one time I walked into my dad farm to harvest the pineapple for myself and friends, dad told me where is the best place to pick from. When I walked in at that moment, I felt such a rightful person to do what the son should do; harvesting and taking care of my dad's farm. Others may sneak in to get what they want, but they didn't care of anything else inside that farm, but I saw what need to be done and make it useful for my dad. This is how God revealed to me that I need to hear God's voice for myself as his son, and I need to take that sonship in me. When I read through Matthew 4:1-11, it was the confirmation about the sonship. When you value God's voice as important part of your life, then you are able to recognize who you are and who God is. You know as a son what need to be done for your father's kingdom. This is my journey to take in my sonship as God has put in me, and I'm glad that God is always right at time, he uses everything to reveal thing to us, so that we will understand and walk it out differently from yesterday. I'm so thankful for those experience and that I can share from my heart what I've been learning and walking through. There will be many of us who have no clue of sonship because what we experience from our earthly father or earthly mother, but it's time for us to experience the differences The Father's Heart of God, so that we will be whole in his fullness. I write this journal not because I fully understand or have it all, but I am still walking toward it without hesitating. And this shall be my prayer for you!
Around this time last year, I was at the Father Heart 'A' school, and it was only a week to learn about God's heart as a father. I expected me to be changed and healed from all the wounded of my past, so that I don't have any trouble to love and accept others, but what I experienced there was completely contrast from my expectation. I experienced God's heart for me and learned how much he loves me. I found a huge fear in the core of me, the fear of death, and there is no one will fight to protect me because I was ruined since I was in the womb of my mom, but God revealed himself to me that he was there to protect and comfort me. I can prove that he is right because I am still alive until today. I am so afraid to be in some place that I can't help myself if there is an emergency, I am afraid to fly, I am afraid to be in the ocean and surround with water. This is what God revealed to me, and it helped me to deal with it. I need to understand who God is for me, so that I can get rid of this fear. Although I realized what my fear is, I am struggling to believe and rest in God's arms. Until last month where I was the interpreter for a speaker from Montana Base, Dan Lake, I realized I need to believe in who God is. I saw my problem, and I knew how I am struggling, but I need to look at God instead of keep gazing on the problems. After that even I have to fly on the airplane and was in the scary moment, but I felt God's peace is over me. God is at work to take care of me, and he knew the best that I still need to be alive for his plan. This kind of thought helps me to claim down and seeing God is working on it. After learning about God's character, it was time for me to learn how to take the sonship. God used my own family to teach me how it is different to truly understand my sonship and walk out with it. There was one time I walked into my dad farm to harvest the pineapple for myself and friends, dad told me where is the best place to pick from. When I walked in at that moment, I felt such a rightful person to do what the son should do; harvesting and taking care of my dad's farm. Others may sneak in to get what they want, but they didn't care of anything else inside that farm, but I saw what need to be done and make it useful for my dad. This is how God revealed to me that I need to hear God's voice for myself as his son, and I need to take that sonship in me. When I read through Matthew 4:1-11, it was the confirmation about the sonship. When you value God's voice as important part of your life, then you are able to recognize who you are and who God is. You know as a son what need to be done for your father's kingdom. This is my journey to take in my sonship as God has put in me, and I'm glad that God is always right at time, he uses everything to reveal thing to us, so that we will understand and walk it out differently from yesterday. I'm so thankful for those experience and that I can share from my heart what I've been learning and walking through. There will be many of us who have no clue of sonship because what we experience from our earthly father or earthly mother, but it's time for us to experience the differences The Father's Heart of God, so that we will be whole in his fullness. I write this journal not because I fully understand or have it all, but I am still walking toward it without hesitating. And this shall be my prayer for you!
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