Skip to main content

Whom Shall I Fear

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin This song hit my heart early in the morning today. Yesterday was a bad day for me to know the truth about my dad keeping lying to family, and I'm so disappointed in him until I made up my mind that I'm no longer to tread him just as my dad whom I used to know, who was there for me when I was in trouble, who cared when I cried in tears because of my heart pain. Poor me, I want to scream out loud to let this pain go away, but I couldn't even pour it out from my heart.The wound is very very deep.Moreover, I want to become someone who can fix this thing or say a right word to totally change my dad's heart, but I just realize that I couldn't have thing done on my way. I talked to my mom, I was trying to change her heart by challenging to stop mourning and keep moving forward without dad, but what turns out is that I caused my mom to be in pain even more. I'm so hopeless at this point. Then this song caught my heart, it tells me the truth of God that he is God of Angel Armies, so whom shall I fear? I need to stand firm in him and hold on to this truth, although I hurt because of what my dad has done, God is in control to help me overcome this pain and be able to love my dad again. I'm tempted to start the fight with my dad by the harsh words and hatred. Please pray that I'll experience how I have God before me and behind me, he is my real friend, so that I won't do any silly thing to cause more pain for both my mom and my dad. God is so faithful to me as I read the story of Joseph in the year of his affliction. He might feel useless and couldn't bear it anymore, but when the right time comes He arose from those pain and become great for the sake of God. He is a true man of God. So what I pledge God to help me respond in a positive way to my dad and to everyone around me. God is for me, so I don't have to be down on my own self pity and keep trusting in the Lord. One day I will arise above these storm and see the fruitful life as God lead me through all kind of circumstances. God is so wonderful, and I'm so thankful for who he is.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wilderness

Have you ever wondered how many challenged you need to go through each year? What about your hope for future? Will it ever come true when it seemly nothing can make it happen? I want to say that I'm good enough, I've been through many thing that I can stand firm and don't lose my mind. I don't care what happen in the future, for I know my God is able to do. I fail to totally trust that my circumstances is not a big deal. Once again, I have to encourage myself through the book of Philippians, for it talks about being rejoice. I admit how worry I am and try to work out in my own way. I saw a picture of myself building up such a strong mountain to conquer all the optical, but when I worshiped God during the Conference, I just realized my mountain become its optical for taking me to another level of trusting God. God told me that he will make my mountain flat, and I'm in this wilderness, so that I'll realize who God is and how amazing he is. A big challenging fo...
2 comments
Read more

Goodbye Mom

Jan 2, 2014 is the date of losing my mom. She had been in the hospital for 3 days with the last state of liver cirrhosis. She was in and out from the hospital since October 2, 2013, and she had been sick 3 months together. I felt difficult to realize it was very short time I had with her, for I was only with her about 2 weeks altogether in these 3 months. I called and talked to her more often since she was sick, but my last conversation with her through the phone wasn't an impress for me. She thought I left her alone because I was upset that she couldn't work to have money for my own wedding. I was almost cry to her, but I did cry when I told Therd about this conversation I had with mom. What a painful moment for me to knew that she didn't know how much I love her, and I didn't care of what I'll get from her, for I only care if she could make it until my wedding. I would like to have her walk me to the altar, and I would like her to experience my precious wedding ...
Post a Comment
Read more

A biblical worldview

Hey, Just wanna drop a line that I'm doing ok.. Kinda busy with bible study in Galatians with our brand new Bangkok DTS , with work and with the preparation for the trip. I'm so exciting and can't imagine that I have only one month left before we jump on the airplane.. Thing is getting along in God's way, and I'm so proud of his wonderful plans. If you want to pray for us as a team, you can pray for another 130,000 baht is giving toward this trip for us and for us to be unify in God's perfect plan. I don't really share much about my heart for doing bible study. I found my strength of a person who always seeking for knowledge, and I'm not surprise when I feel I wanna do the School Of Biblical Studying. It wasn't because I want to be a preacher at all, but I truly wanna have more understanding of the bible and how I can live out in what I believe. I'm praying right now where I shall go to and what the right time for me is. This week I just gave m...
1 comment
Read more