Jan 2, 2014 is the date of losing my mom. She had been in the hospital for 3 days with the last state of liver cirrhosis. She was in and out from the hospital since October 2, 2013, and she had been sick 3 months together. I felt difficult to realize it was very short time I had with her, for I was only with her about 2 weeks altogether in these 3 months. I called and talked to her more often since she was sick, but my last conversation with her through the phone wasn't an impress for me. She thought I left her alone because I was upset that she couldn't work to have money for my own wedding. I was almost cry to her, but I did cry when I told Therd about this conversation I had with mom. What a painful moment for me to knew that she didn't know how much I love her, and I didn't care of what I'll get from her, for I only care if she could make it until my wedding. I would like to have her walk me to the altar, and I would like her to experience my precious wedding and to share our joy together. She left me behind quicker than I thought. I remember my last hour with her very well, and it kept sticking in my mind and my head how she died and what happened. What I can think of now is the wonderful time I shared with her as a step daughter. She was wonderful and loving mom for me. She is missed from the bottom of my heart, and I'll see her again one day. God is with her and I'll be with her, this is faith if all about.
Have you ever wondered how many challenged you need to go through each year? What about your hope for future? Will it ever come true when it seemly nothing can make it happen? I want to say that I'm good enough, I've been through many thing that I can stand firm and don't lose my mind. I don't care what happen in the future, for I know my God is able to do. I fail to totally trust that my circumstances is not a big deal. Once again, I have to encourage myself through the book of Philippians, for it talks about being rejoice. I admit how worry I am and try to work out in my own way. I saw a picture of myself building up such a strong mountain to conquer all the optical, but when I worshiped God during the Conference, I just realized my mountain become its optical for taking me to another level of trusting God. God told me that he will make my mountain flat, and I'm in this wilderness, so that I'll realize who God is and how amazing he is. A big challenging fo...
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