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3 years passing by

The 2nd of January is the date that reminds me of mom passing away. In this 2017, it will be 3 years that she has gone from this earth. I always have mixed feeling between glad and grief because of the thing in this world. It would be better for her to be set free from all kind of painful and difficulty in life, but it is also hard for those who are left behind, since she had been the center of our family. During these 3 years, I also can see how God walked us through as the family. Although I am still missing her and grief deeply in my heart, I have hope to look forward to see her again. Since loosing someone became real to me, I am able to look around and understand how others would feel. I was comforted through people who has been through it before, so God is able to use me for his glory to comfort those in their losses. However, I have became stronger in who I am because I considered how important part my step mom was to me, and as death can separate us at any time, I now learn to be appreciate my dad, my sisters, and my own family through affections and cares. Thank you for placing this person in my life, Lord. You know her very best, and you also set a good model into my life. She is always amazing! I miss her so much, I wish I could go home to see her face every time. I wish I could talk with her on the phone to laugh, to share, and to cry with her. I wish I could give her a big hug and tell her how much I miss her. I wish I could be a better daughter to her so that she would be blessed at all time. I wish I could give her presents and continue to do it every occasion. I wish I could say 'I love you, mom' to her in person. I wish I could bring my future kids to her and introduce her as their grandma. I wish my kids would be able to learn from her and be loved by her. However, what I already had, it was the best I could do, and I don't regret. Although I may be homesick for thousand time, I'll set my eyes on you, Lord, my hope, my future, and my eternity. Thank you for loving me through sharing my step mom's life with me. Thank you for choosing her and placing her into my life. Thank you for caring me even though she is no longer here, but all the meaningful memories are kept abundantly in my heart. Thanks be unto God as always.

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