During these intense 6 months of co-leading a YWAM training school, I have been learning and exploring tons of thing about who God is and about myself which I have to lay down myself in many ways. My intimate relationship with God has been developing since I took the FOCOS (Coaching Course with CMI), for I started to focus more on my quality time with God and learning to listen to him. In past 3 months, although there are so much works going on, I still learn to be still and know that God is God where I can't control any thing at all. Through this school, I wish I could be more prepared, the building would be perfect to run the school, all staffs would be ready to serve the school, and the students would learn and grow incredibly, but those are false expectations because God's plan and how he works in a whole group and individual are totally what we are experiencing now. There are tons of small thing occurs to make us discouraged, but I do learn to let thing go and depend on God's timing along with depending on my team in many way. However, this week we learned about the Lordship of Jesus and the Cost of Disciple which I am challenged to lay down my right even more. I found myself holding dear to the approval and control as deep idolatry in my heart where I need to constantly apply the gospel in those area. People around me would feel guilty and blame because the way I react, and when I was corrected in public I felt I ashamed of who I am. These are not from God, and it wasn't having Jesus as my lord. Putting all this thoughts together, now I want to confess and repent of putting other expectations higher than God's expectations, and I want to confess that I have put the approval from people higher than God's approval for my life. This is an crucial step for me as I am committing myself to obey and have faith in God, for I know I am not perfect and in this imperfect jar, God's power is overflowing in me. I am his image bearer, although I am imperfect of his image bearer, God continues to work in me and through me if I let him completely take control over me. Once again, I want to remind myself that God has done such a great thing in the midst of this intensive time, and I am willing to take a baby step toward his goal. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be part of your great thing.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 ESV There are many people in different generation refer to this specific scripture as their comforts, their hopes, and encouragement for others which is not wrong of doing it so, but recently I read this passage over and over until I have the deeper understanding with its context and meditate on it, so I want to write it down to remind myself and share it with you. The verse before this scripture is "For Thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will visit you, and I'll fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:10-11 ESV . God told Jeremiah to write a letter stating this passage in Jerusalem and send it to the survivi...
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