Love~Faith~Hope

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin This song hit my heart early in the morning today. Yesterday was a bad day for me to know the truth about my dad keeping lying to family, and I'm so disappointed in him until I made up my mind that I'm no longer to tread him just as my dad whom I used to know, who was there for me when I was in trouble, who cared when I cried in tears because of my heart pain. Poor me, I want to scream out loud to let this pain go away, but I couldn't even pour it out from my heart.The wound is very very deep.Moreover, I want to become someone who can fix this thing or say a right word to totally change my dad's heart, but I just realize that I couldn't have thing done on my way. I talked to my mom, I was trying to change her heart by challenging to stop mourning and keep moving forward without dad, but what turns out is that I caused my mom to be in pain even more. I'm so hopeless at this point. Then this song caught my ...

You may curious about the topic, and I have explanation for it. Lately, I've been noticing in a life of Jacob from the book of Genesis. His story is very interested about who he is and how God worked with him. Surprisingly, I don't think that he was good enough to be the father of the nation, Israel, but God gave him this name. His household was in sin and in many big trouble, but God helped him and his household in many time. Yet people cause the trouble, God still look after them because of his grace and his marvelous plan. What shall we fear then? How can we worry about our future while we've seen a thousand times that God is at hand all the time? It's our human being that try to put thing in control, and sometimes we're waving because it's hardly to trust God when we get into a challenge situation. I used to say to myself "nope, I'm not going to worry"., but when the time comes, I do worry, I do curious how God will fix thing in my hands. But i...

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From the book of Romans, I got to learn another aspect of the book that I haven't understood it before. Thanks to Mark Nakatsukasa for his wonderful sharing just in the right time that I need to hear the most. Since I'm a human, I'm so limited of being patient and I don't have much mercy for others. I can't see how God's plan can be fit for a person who has done wrong, but look at me I'm also a sinner who has done a mess thing that I shouldn't receive the forgiveness. However, I came to the point of letting God choose and do thing on his own way because he has the best thing in mind for people that I'm neglected. He knows the beginning and the end, so it's not my business to judge others, but I need to sit back and see God's mercy for each person. So here what I've drawn out from the Book of Romans right now, and thanks to God for his truth has set me free from judging my dad and not being patient with him. Dear God, I pray for salvati...

Happy New Year to all of you!! This year I really want to remind myself to start the year with thanksgiving. It wasn't because of big shock of blessing, but it's because I realize that God is doing his good work in me, and I'm where I am right now because of him alone. I got to read an article from the book "Displaced Reflections" by Oddny Gumaer. Thanksgiving: We are in a refugee housing thousands of people who have fled war. Bugs are buzzing around our sweaty bodies. There is no breeze to move the hot air. Little children are playing. From a house close by we hear music. Several people must be gathered together. They are singing in beautiful harmony. Praise songs. "Is there a church meeting?" I ask. "No, one family is having a Thanksgiving service twice a year to remember what God has done for them." How many times a year do I conduct a Thanksgiving service to remember what I have received? These people who are singing praises to God ri...

Since Bangkok was under water for quite a while, I was super busy with many emergency works and usual works that I have to get done. I didn't put any update on that, but I'm glad that God is working through YWAM Bangkok to bless those who were in need, and I'm sure that God bless us so much because where we are located in Bangkok, there is no flood. Praise God for that. Yesterday was a crazy day for me to hear about my family back home. When I visited my family, I was blessed because I felt love and care from my parents and how they treat one another, but to hear that my dad keep making my mom grief for his fair, then it causes me to be anger inside. During the small group time, we talked about Grace of God and whom we should give grace to. It's very difficult for me to say that I need to give grace to my dad, since he is the one who hurt me and the rest of his family. My anger keep bouncing back to me with unforgiven heart, and when I shared it to my small group an...

It was my second time to sit and hear the news how heavy rain causes the flooding in many provinces of Thailand. People are suffered, and need help. I felt so sorry for those people who stuck in their houses, can't go anywhere, don't have food to eat, and can't work for a while. I really even feel bad when I heard people don't have enough to eat, but they still bringing what they have to the Bud-dish temple to do merit, for they thought the more they being faithful doing merit, the more this heavy rain and bad thing will surely go away. They don't know The One who is in control with the heavy rain, who can do the impossible thing, and the one whom they should ask for help. Recently I've been listening to many story of bad thing in Thailand, and I felt like the more I hear it, the more I don't feel like this is my homeland, for I can't make any change in this country and I just have to bear all of that along with other Thai brothers and sisters; the b...