Love~Faith~Hope

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 ESV There are many people in different generation refer to this specific scripture as their comforts, their hopes, and encouragement for others which is not wrong of doing it so, but recently I read this passage over and over until I have the deeper understanding with its context and meditate on it, so I want to write it down to remind myself and share it with you. The verse before this scripture is "For Thus says the Lord: When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will visit you, and I will visit you, and I'll fulfill to you my promise and bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:10-11 ESV . God told Jeremiah to write a letter stating this passage in Jerusalem and send it to the survivi...

Since I was in Leadership Development Course in Cebu, Philippines, I was thinking many time that I want to put my experience and thoughts in my blog, but somehow I couldn't manage myself to reflect and do it properly. Today I thought it is time for me to finally do it. There were many wonderful thing happen to me personally throughout the course, and the main part of it involved with my marriage life as well. God removed my doubts about my childhood which became an significant change in my life, and as I knew God is working in me through listening to his voice this year particularly. The challenge for me is about how I would stand firm and put it in a practical way to my life even it is after the course. I graduated from this course a month already, and I evaluated myself about it. I didn't really do good as I had expected myself when I was in the course. One thing though I learned from my marriage life, the challenge is how my husband and I will become a good marriage couple, ...

In this world setting, being leader means you have worked your way up with all kind of hard works and receive approval from above authority where you have to watch out on your performance and any sign of failure. I once thought it would be the same in the mission world where we need approve from our leaders that we can be promoting to higher position. As I am taking the Leadership Development Course, I was taught with many information about being leader, learning your DISC personality type and discovering your spiritual gift. It didn't click until one morning I woke up and spent my time preparing myself to go through Timeline-Workshop in this Course. Earlier of that week, I was prompted by the Scriptures from Psalm 144:1-2 "Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hand for war, and my fingers for battle; he is my steadfast love and my fortress, my stronghold and my deliverer, my shield and he in whom I take refuge, who subdues peoples under me."The word 'trains...

Around this time last year, I was at the Father Heart 'A' school, and it was only a week to learn about God's heart as a father. I expected me to be changed and healed from all the wounded of my past, so that I don't have any trouble to love and accept others, but what I experienced there was completely contrast from my expectation. I experienced God's heart for me and learned how much he loves me. I found a huge fear in the core of me, the fear of death, and there is no one will fight to protect me because I was ruined since I was in the womb of my mom, but God revealed himself to me that he was there to protect and comfort me. I can prove that he is right because I am still alive until today. I am so afraid to be in some place that I can't help myself if there is an emergency, I am afraid to fly, I am afraid to be in the ocean and surround with water. This is what God revealed to me, and it helped me to deal with it. I need to understand who God is for me, so ...

This is the year 2016, my life has been far from journaling in English almost 2 years. There were so much going on in the year 2015 where I had seen God's goodness within my own life, my family, and my ministry. I have came to the place of surrender to who God is, and I don't want to be the same person as before. God is walking with me through each day, good time and bad time, and I am glad to learn how to trust Him more and more. Since last year until now I discover that I have held many fears in my life, and it stopped me from being brave and being initiative. God knew at this point is a good timing to deal with me about it, and I want to be changed by him. I discovered that I have fear of man and fear of death, and my goal of this year I want to ask God to remove those fears and replace it with his perfect love. I don't want to be stuck in the same spot as last year, and I expect God to make me new heart. Let's see what happen in next 3-4 months.

The 2014 is quite difficult year for me to walk, but it is also a remarkable year in my journey with God because all of my trails are huge and emotionally painful. The beginning of this year, my dear mom passed away with the very last state of liver cirrhosis, and my life hasn't been the same as before, for there is a whole in my heart of missing my dear mom and my role as the older sister has changed. I started to take more responsibility for my family and to really look after my sisters. Many time I found myself thinking it would be much easier and better if mom was here. One life can impact 7 more lives in an incredible way, and I regret about my limited time for trying to impact my mom's life. But God comforts me deeply through his love and his people who were facing the same pain. God taught me to see the value of person and in His only Son. On the other hand, my life is starting to having my own family, for I'm getting married in next 20 days. I'm so grateful for...

Jan 2, 2014 is the date of losing my mom. She had been in the hospital for 3 days with the last state of liver cirrhosis. She was in and out from the hospital since October 2, 2013, and she had been sick 3 months together. I felt difficult to realize it was very short time I had with her, for I was only with her about 2 weeks altogether in these 3 months. I called and talked to her more often since she was sick, but my last conversation with her through the phone wasn't an impress for me. She thought I left her alone because I was upset that she couldn't work to have money for my own wedding. I was almost cry to her, but I did cry when I told Therd about this conversation I had with mom. What a painful moment for me to knew that she didn't know how much I love her, and I didn't care of what I'll get from her, for I only care if she could make it until my wedding. I would like to have her walk me to the altar, and I would like her to experience my precious wedding ...