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Whom Shall I Fear

Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) by Chris Tomlin This song hit my heart early in the morning today. Yesterday was a bad day for me to know the truth about my dad keeping lying to family, and I'm so disappointed in him until I made up my mind that I'm no longer to tread him just as my dad whom I used to know, who was there for me when I was in trouble, who cared when I cried in tears because of my heart pain. Poor me, I want to scream out loud to let this pain go away, but I couldn't even pour it out from my heart.The wound is very very deep.Moreover, I want to become someone who can fix this thing or say a right word to totally change my dad's heart, but I just realize that I couldn't have thing done on my way. I talked to my mom, I was trying to change her heart by challenging to stop mourning and keep moving forward without dad, but what turns out is that I caused my mom to be in pain even more. I'm so hopeless at this point. Then this song caught my heart, it tells me the truth of God that he is God of Angel Armies, so whom shall I fear? I need to stand firm in him and hold on to this truth, although I hurt because of what my dad has done, God is in control to help me overcome this pain and be able to love my dad again. I'm tempted to start the fight with my dad by the harsh words and hatred. Please pray that I'll experience how I have God before me and behind me, he is my real friend, so that I won't do any silly thing to cause more pain for both my mom and my dad. God is so faithful to me as I read the story of Joseph in the year of his affliction. He might feel useless and couldn't bear it anymore, but when the right time comes He arose from those pain and become great for the sake of God. He is a true man of God. So what I pledge God to help me respond in a positive way to my dad and to everyone around me. God is for me, so I don't have to be down on my own self pity and keep trusting in the Lord. One day I will arise above these storm and see the fruitful life as God lead me through all kind of circumstances. God is so wonderful, and I'm so thankful for who he is.

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