The 2014 is quite difficult year for me to walk, but it is also a remarkable year in my journey with God because all of my trails are huge and emotionally painful. The beginning of this year, my dear mom passed away with the very last state of liver cirrhosis, and my life hasn't been the same as before, for there is a whole in my heart of missing my dear mom and my role as the older sister has changed. I started to take more responsibility for my family and to really look after my sisters. Many time I found myself thinking it would be much easier and better if mom was here. One life can impact 7 more lives in an incredible way, and I regret about my limited time for trying to impact my mom's life. But God comforts me deeply through his love and his people who were facing the same pain. God taught me to see the value of person and in His only Son.
On the other hand, my life is starting to having my own family, for I'm getting married in next 20 days. I'm so grateful for what I've been through, I'm not only having God on my side, but someone who is so precious to stand with me in my painful moment, he is my future husband. God has shown me what kind of person God faithfully place in my life, and how God cares me so much for give me this very precious person of his to lift my heart in the desperate moment. I'm so happy to walk down to the aisle where Therd is standing and waiting for me to make a life long commitment with him. I'm a sinful person who walks in God's grace, and I can't imagine what more I'll be wrong and imperfect, but I knew in my heart as two of us keep seeking to be closer to God, we'll be one and perfect in His eyes together through Jesus Christ.
Lately, I've learned that God can use every situation even we feel it wasn't a good situation or it wasn't a successfulness we want to achieve, but God is Sovereign who can make all kind of thing fit perfectly in his plan. I'm not only drawn closer to God because of my difficult year, but I'm also drawn closer to him because of my delightful year to be married to the one whom I love so much as well. God has placed his delight in us as we are committing to be together as one, and we want to walk as his light to this world. I'm so thankful and grateful to be his child and walk under his wings.
Have you ever wondered how many challenged you need to go through each year? What about your hope for future? Will it ever come true when it seemly nothing can make it happen? I want to say that I'm good enough, I've been through many thing that I can stand firm and don't lose my mind. I don't care what happen in the future, for I know my God is able to do. I fail to totally trust that my circumstances is not a big deal. Once again, I have to encourage myself through the book of Philippians, for it talks about being rejoice. I admit how worry I am and try to work out in my own way. I saw a picture of myself building up such a strong mountain to conquer all the optical, but when I worshiped God during the Conference, I just realized my mountain become its optical for taking me to another level of trusting God. God told me that he will make my mountain flat, and I'm in this wilderness, so that I'll realize who God is and how amazing he is. A big challenging fo
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